30 minus 6 days!

Still hangin' in there, are ya?  Glad to see you back for reason #6 (don't you love my delusions that people actually read this blog?).

So here it is, reason #6 in the countdown to why I've got it made in the shade at 30!

Reason #6

I. SURVIVED. CANCER. If there's no other reason to celebrate in this life, it's this.  I don't know the statistics on the mortality rate of those diagnosed with any form of cancer, but for those of us with thyroid cancer, thankfully, the statistics are in our favor.  But I'd just like to say it again: I survived cancer.  Holy frick, right?  I'm by no means the only one (thank goodness!) who gets to add this slogan to their life's list of "I did that" but I'm damn proud to be someone who does get to say it. 

Some days I look back at the whole ordeal and think "Meh, it happened to me.  I couldn't do anything but just keep on keepin' on" but that's not true.  I could have let it beat me.  Oh, not physically, of course.  I had the surgeries to get rid of it, but I could have sat back and said "That's it, I give up.  Some day, I'm going to die and it's because of the cancer".  Heck no!  I said "Fuck Cancer" - yep, I even bought the pin.  I had bad days, days where I let it get me down, but for the most part, I stayed positive and just let it happen.  Two surgeries.  OK.  A round of radiation.  C'mon, is that all you got?  More needles than I ever hope to see again in this lifetime?  Sure... what's one more prick in the long line of pricks that I'm likely to meet in this life (get the pun?).  Bring it on.  I'll still survive.  

So, obviously today is one of those days I'm feeling invincible.  I'm officially cancer free (as of Veteran's Day) and I think that's something to celebrate.  And I also think it's part of the whole reason that I've made it.  If I can beat Cancer, what CAN'T I do?  

Reason #5 starts with a "C" too... 

30 minus 7 days!

Following yesterday's post, here is lucky #7!

Reason #7

I don't do what I don't love. Seems obvious, right? But I'll bet there are things that you don't love but you do anyway? I'm SO over that.

I don't love running. I tried it last year, and it was OK, but I didn't love it.  So, I don't do it anymore. I don't love attending events alone, so I don't. If I don't have a "date", I don't go. I don't read the whole book if I don't like the way it starts and I don't finish my meal if I don't like it.  

I don't clean up the dogs poop (Hubband does it) and I don't clean the bathroom. Thank goodness for Hubbands, eh? I do (for the record, though) do all the vacuuming and dusting. We share dishes, making the bed and laundry.  I'm not sure why I feel the need to justify this to you, but I do.  

I don't hang out with people I'm not comfortable with and I don't try to maintain friendships "just 'cuz I should". I don't drink milk and I don't visit houses that have cats (these two are completely un-related).  

All in all, I feel I've got a healthy balance of doing things I love, and not doing things I don't love. I still do go to the dentist, and no one loves that, but that's just a hygiene thing. Tomorrow is Reason #6. If you've been following my blog for more than two months you can likely guess what it is. It starts with a "C".

30 minus 8 days!

I'm turning thirty.  In eight days.  And please, I want you to read that as "WAAHOOO!  I'm turning 30!" not "Ugh... I'm turning... 30?" I'm so ridiculously excited about turning 30. Why, you say, are you embracing an age that so many women dread? Why the heck not? It's awesome!

Over the past couple of months as I've drawn closer to being 30 (yes... months!), I've started to look back at all the reasons I have to celebrate this year. There are tons of good reasons and I've come to realize that while I may not have taken the path I thought I would have to get to thirty, gosh darn it, I've ARRIVED! Every day I have something to be happy for. So I've decided that over the next 8 days I'm going to post one reasons why I think I've "made it".

Reason #8:

I do what I love. Pure and simple. Not only do I get up each morning and stroll the 15 paces from my bedroom to my office (in my pajamas no less) but I LOVE turning on the computer to face the day. Yes, there are days that are challenging, and there are things from time to time that get me down, but 98% of the time, I'm happy.

And it's not just work. I do what I love when I'm not working too. I knit. I watch movies. I read fabulous books. I day dream - OH MY do I day dream! Sometimes I just turn on the music and dance around the house. Hey - if we're putting it out there, why hold back the embarrassing stuff? I talk to my dog, constantly. Some day I expect her to talk back to me. I sing at ridiculously high volumes in my office or in my car. I eat what I want, when I want, and I buy clothes that work for my body (even if I am 20lbs overweight).

On Sunday's I stay in my pajamas all day and watch football with my Hubband and eat bad (but oh-so-good) food. I yell at Phillip Rivers and drool over Peyton Manning. I lie on the sofa and pretend to know what I'm talking about with regards to football with Hubband and just ruminate on how awesome my life is that I'm able to lie around on a Sunday and just enjoy my life.

To take a quote from a good friend and fellow Wedding vendor, Kevin Mudd of Cool Cake Photography, Life. Is. Good.

If this isn't too much happiness for you, c'mon back tomorrow for Reason #7... any bets as to what it is?

Fancy Dancy What?

I had a meeting with a photographer yesterday morning.  Photographers always inspire me to be more spontaneous with my camera work ("camera work" being the little camera on my cell phone).  Yesterday, I was presented with a perfect opportunity to take a spur-of-the-moment picture or two.  

This photo quality, of course, is proof-positive why I'm not a photographer.  It's blurry.  But, I ask you, at first blush, if you saw this mounted on a wall, would you know what it was?  I hadn't seen one before.  I thought it was some new fandangled purse holder, or maybe a baby changing station - oh, did I neglect to mention I was in a restroom?

Turns out, upon closer inspection, it has a more practical function:

It's a HAND DRYER!  You move your hands up and down through an incredibly powerful blast of air.  Turns out, while looking all space-agey to me, it works pretty well.  

Based on the incredulous look I received from the other lady in the restroom, though, it's likely best if I keep my spontaneous photo moments out of restrooms. *giggle*

The song is ended, but the melody lingers on...

My Mother's Father died on Friday.  

I don't know how to feel about it.  I'm sad.  I'm relieved.  I'm a bit numb.  This won't be a proper caithris as he might have had, had he lived and died 200+ years ago in Scotland, but this is what I can do to celebrate his life.

William Wallace McLachlan.

He was Scottish.

He worked for Carnation.  

He was married to Daphne and had four beautiful children: Janet, Katie, Valerie and Donald.

    Janet married Allen and adopted two sons: Brian and Andrew.

    Katie married Greg and had two daughters: Meaghan and Gillian.

    Valerie married Jim and they had two daughters and a son: Katelin, Ellen and Scot.

    Donald married a beautiful woman this year: Kathy.  

    All four children married for love which they had to have learned from their parents.  

He had horses and tractors.

Daphne died all too young.

He always bought us sweet cereal when we visited that Mum and Dad wouldn't let us eat otherwise.

He had a great dog named Hamish.

He used to be called Grandad.  

His nickname was "G'Dad" because Grandad was too long to fit on the stocking we hung for him at Christmas.  

He used to jump over the bollards at the Calgary zoo even when he was in his '60's.

He loved his kilt - he wore it at his second Wedding.

He married Anne Handy and her children became his children too.  

He had a big heart.  

He fumbled a bit - he broke his family when he forgot us.  But he made a new family for himself with Ann.

He was called Bill after this.

He cleared land and built himself a new home.

He loved to watch the finches out his back window.

He got sick; he forgot who he used to be.

He kept fighting until it was okay to go.

He died on Friday, November 26th, 2010.

He will be missed.

In case you wanted an update...

It's a good day.  Mostly.  I don't have all the good news yet but I'm expecting more soon.

You may have read in a post last year that I had cancer.  It's now a year and a half since I had my radiation treatment so after my blood test yesterday, a standard checkup, I was sent in to get an ultrasound.  One short day later (that'd be today) I recieved great news!  There's nothing there.  Well, I mean it's obvious that the thyroid isn't there - I'd be mighty conerned if it was - but there was nothing else there, and THAT'S the good news.  No new lumps, bumps or cancer that they can see.  YIPPY SKIPPY!

So here's the rest of the scoop.  Since the time of my intial diagnosis, the process of treatment and maintenance of thyroid cancer has changed drastically.  Where there used to be no documentation or processes, there is now a 51 page document outlingig the steps the doctors have to put their patients through.  The ultrasound was the first step in the process.  There are two possible next steps:

The first option involves getting two shots of Thyrogen, a day apart, followed by a blood test two days later.  It will likely go like this:  Monday: Ouch, a shot.  Tuesday: Ouch, another shot.  Friday: OUCH!  The blood letting.  The Thyrogen is a drug that tricks the body into thinking that it's not taking Levoxyl (the med I take every day to act in place of the thyroid I don't have).  The best part is that the Thyrogen accomplishes in 4 days what would take my body to do a few weeks.  Not to mention it avoids the crazy-factor that is typically involved with going off the Levoxyl.  If the blood test comes back normal despite the stimulus of the Thyrogen then I'm good to go and will be considered cancer-free.  This, of course, is the optimal option.  However, here's the rub.  Insurance companies don't often approve this process without the inclusion of a radiation scan following the blood test.  The radiation test sucks.  So this brings us to option two, which is far more annoying.  

This second option would involve all the steps noted above, but would also include the necessity of me going off Levoxyl and getting an additional blood test to check for pregnancy... blah!  As IF!  Then, once my body is rid of the Levoxyl I've taken for the past year and a half (and my emotions are off the chart and everyone around me hates me) I will have to get another dose of radioactive iodine (yes, that's radiation), and then go back under the full body scanner to make sure there's no cancer left in my body.  And honestly, that's the worst part.  It doesn't hurt in a traditional sense.  No one is poking you, or cutting into you, but you have to lay still for 40 minutes consecutively while they run this machine over your body.  The "bed" that is provided is a 24" wide (approximately) board with a sheet of the doctors hygienic paper over it.  There's no support, no padding.  It's awful.  And I can't read, or listen to music, or talk.  I have to lay still.  Alone.  In a room that is white.  No one else is in there.  So what do I do?  I count the seconds to see how close I can get to the finishing time of the scan.  BOR. ING.  And even worse than this is the human deprivation that I have to endure after I'm given the radiation.  It's like being trapped in a glass cell.  I can't kiss my husband.  I can't cuddle with my dog.  I can't cook.  I can't visit with people.  And I can't sleep in the same bed as my husband.  For four days.  It's SO weird.    And THIS.  This little gem of a process?  This is the procedure that the insurance companies approve.  Go figure.

So obviously I'm hoping for option 1.  If you wouldn't mind keeping your fingers crossed for me that my insurance will approve option 1 I would really appreciate it.  

Thanks for checkin' in.  I'll try to include updates when I can.  I'm hoping for more good information shortly.  I fully expect to kick this cancer's ass!

I'm a Movie Star

Kinda.  Sorta.

My pal Sean of Resolusean Photography recently did a photo session with Hubband and I.  His wife and I are good friends and I've let my freak flag fly a few times lately around her - she's discovered my obsession with sharks.  Apparently I've shared a tidbit or two with Sean too.  Here's his latest creation.  It's too good not to share!

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